FLOWERS FOR FUNERALS AND FUNERAL SERVICES

Officiating a funeral is among the greatest duties this author has ever been privileged to bear. The sacred nature of death as well as the dead is a deep and reflective occurrence. Religious leaders have many varied duties and responsibilities. So widely varied according to the subscribed denomination or faith. Societies across the globe celebrate or acknowledge the dead in many ways as they have always done. This article serves to mirror the sentiments of it’s author regarding the protected service of presiding over and conducting funeral services for the deceased.

Being informed of the news of death is the enzyme of preparation. Whether or not you are called upon to preside over and conduct a service really is beside the point as of yet. The news purposely serves to make the living look inward at their own mortality, actions and thoughts. Still in the mode of “new news” the mind still reflects. What if death were to come upon me suddenly? Are my mortal affairs in order? Am I right with whatever power I hold true and dear that I am accountable to? These are but some of the endearing questions that accompany the news of death.

Sympathy and empathy ensues soon after. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The heart and mind turns from inward reflection to the outward affection. Usually this would include the family and close friends of the deceased. Perhaps a phone call or personal visit accompanies the outpour of support. We feel for their loss and hope for their own happiness and continued prosperity. We may even ask how we may help with arrangements. No matter how noble and kind this next step is in the process of death it is still overwhelmingly improperly implemented.

Proper implementation of the process of sympathy and empathy includes the spirit in which it is offered. We have become accustomed to associating death with sadness, loss and lull of heart. If we acknowledge the affliction of the heart as hindering positive prosperity in life, then why do we so succor and relish it in that inevitable final step - death? Each and every one of us must take the lead in observing a loved one’s successful life. For man has been given the opportunity to experience those things which make us human including pain. Dare we not then celebrate the departed with fond memories and hopeful dreams? Dare we not take the lead and approach a widow with a sincere smile and eyes full of love? Dare we not take the grieving by the hand and offer them our positive beliefs and hopes? How we approach the death of a loved one will determine how that funeral will permanently imprint upon us so long as memory serves.

Equally as important as how you approach death is also the discipline of respect. We live in a time of abounding personal liberty and privileges. Most of the world has the ability to choose how one worships. Almost all funerals are accompanied by people long since in touch with the deceased. It is vitally important that respect for desired religious rites in funerals be observed. This does not mean one must physically participate in some ceremonies but enough respect should be offered to sit there in humble reflection. Many people have deep problems with the observance of cremation yet others want and desire it for their own rest. Many faiths choose to dress their dead in sacred clothing upon family approval. Accept that choice and feel privileged to be among the mere last witnesses of that life. The important thing to remember is that this is the deceased’s time to celebrate and not everyone else’s.

Unfortunately one of the travesties of death is an unhinged swelling of pride. Few things desecrate this sacred occasion more than family scrambling over valuables left behind. In a frenzy of circling wolves siblings sometimes see dollar signs in insurance policies, antiques, vehicles, homes, bank accounts, stocks or even sentimental objects with little monetary value. This occurrence is far too common and shatters all pure love and respect for the dead. A stunning number of families are ripped to shreds at and over funerals due simply to pride. We are not the heathens of old. We have scientifically and archaeologically proven that you cannot take mortal objects with you in death. Haven’t we advanced enough to know that our thoughts and memories are what counts over those objects that dwindle and eventually become as dust? Pride truly turns the heart to black. As a family bring all discussion to the common table and discharge such things as the deceased would have them dispersed. If there are to be feuds than agree, for the sanctity of family peace, to benefit the charities or destroy such relics which hinder family relationships.

This author highly recommends that a spokesperson be agreed upon. Not only from a public relations standpoint but rather from a funeral service angle. Whether you believe in a higher power or not it’s a good idea, as a final expression, to dedicate the grave of a loved one. Dedicate it from the heart of the family. Do so with love and with absolute positive attributes. This dedication is a summing up of life, a patchwork sewing on the family and a lifeline rope to the future.

The services of our beloved deceased friends and family is a sacred memorial observed in mortality. As an officiator there are few greater fulfilling comparable experiences than to lead the summing up of one’s life. All their growth, joys, sadness, loves, loss and learnings are packaged into those few minutes of memoriam. Among the greatest of hopes is to approach these spirits on the other side and to receive their thoughts of how you conducted the winding up scene of their mortal journey. It is a truly humbling experience that one almost must feel unworthy to mantle.